What Cougars Look for When Dating Younger Men

No one bats an eye when they see an older man dating a younger woman. Not only is it not unusual but we actually expect it from successful men. For many it is seen as a status symbol for a successful man to have a rolodex of women who stay the same age as he gets older and older.

Why then is there such a stigma against older women dating younger men? Maybe it’s because we still have these harmful misconceptions that women only date with the aim of starting a family while men are allowed to have fun for as long as they want. Maybe because we just think its icky to think about a woman continuing to have a sex life after she has passed what we consider to be her prime reproductive years.

Whatever the reason is I’m done with it! Older women are choosing to date younger men in greater and greater numbers and we should be all for it. Cougars are mature, they know what they want, they’re independent enough not to rely on a man, and they have a wealth of knowledge to impart upon their lucky younger partner. Here are 6 things an older woman is looking for when she dates a younger man.

Someone who is not afraid to let her take the lead

Men are used to taking the lead when it comes to dating but cougars are often interested in dating younger men specifically because they want to buck these norms and expectations. They are looking for a younger man who is unafraid and secure in allowing a woman to take the lead. This doesn’t make him any less manly but instead open-minded to letting a more experienced woman show him the ropes to a more mature relationship. Older women have so much they can teach their younger partners both in and out of the bedroom.

Someone who makes her feel young again

Just like men who date younger, women who date younger men are looking to relive at least a little of their youth. They do not want to be reminded at every turn how much older they are (although it may well happen when they are inadvertently asked if they’re out to dinner with their son etc.). They certainly don’t want to be reminded by the man that they are choosing to date. Part of the appeal of dating younger is to feel that they are still able to attract someone younger.

This is a little different from men who date younger women because, as a rule, men are seeking to attract women they couldn’t when they were younger while women want to hold on to a level of attractiveness they feel they already possessed.

A man with the stamina to keep up with her

libido

As men get older their libido often starts to go down, and as they lose their physical prowess from hours spent behind desks so does their stamina. When faced with the option between this depressing reality and a young buck in his prime it is no wonder that cougars choose to date younger.

Where a man her age might have a couple good rounds in him over the course of a weekend, a younger man can keep her satisfied all night. Young men nowadays are also much more interested in equality in the bedroom than in years past. Much of the appeal of an older woman, on both sides, lies in what she can teach the younger man. She can benefit from a man who she can teach to treat her in exactly the ways she desires and her lover benefits from the greater experience she has.

Someone who is not held back by the traditional

gender expectations of the past

Almost by definition, any man who dates an older woman must be open-minded. Since older women exert much more control over the relationships they have with men their age or older they are not likely to want to defer to their younger partner on important decisions. Most cougars also have established careers, and little to no desire to stay home and be taken care of. Since men their own age are less understanding of their lifestyle women like this turn to younger men who have no problem with a strong, career-minded woman.

Someone who isn’t going to pressure her to have

a family

The problem with dating your age when you’re in your late thirties or early forties is that most people already have a family, and if they don’t they are trying to have one before it’s too late. One of the nicest parts about dating a much younger man is that he is much less likely to put that pressure on his partner. Young men don’t usually start thinking about having a family until much later than young women do as well, and many know that they don’t want to pursue children at all.  This kind of man would be perfect for an older woman who has already passed childbearing age. Neither will have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy and can enjoy their relationship with out the specter of potential children hanging over them.

Someone without baggage

Of course we all have baggage, but the fact of the matter is that a 25 year old fresh out of college is much less likely to have the responsibilities of a divorce and children taking his attention. Older women love that younger men do not come with the same baggage that men their age bring with them. Sure, running into an ex-girlfriend is annoying but it’s nothing compared to having to interact with an ex-wife that spent years with your new partner. Younger men are also just less likely to be carrying around as many neuroses gleaned from past failed relationships. She doesn’t have to act as a therapist, picking apart insecurities or bad habits. With young men things are a lot more simple.